On my Birthday

I turn 19 in a few hours (at the time of writing this) I am again back in the same cafe I've spent several bunches of hours in this summer, working on what has been my goal since I was a kid. Every minute it gets a little more real. The fact that I have songs in the world, the fact that my dreams are slowly but surely becoming a reality. The fact that everything I've ever wanted and simultaneously feared can happen if I just continue to work my ass off. I am only turning 19, and I still have this fear that I am behind. On a night like tonight, I am trying to remind myself to breathe. Take time for myself, be proud of where I am now, and continue planning for everything I will become. On a night like tonight, I wonder what the artists I admire felt at this point in their careers. I wonder if they share in the sentiment that they are still not everything they want to be, but are so much more than they were. I wonder if they keep a little photo of their younger self on the wallpaper of their laptop as well. As a reminder of how far they've come, and whose dream this was.

Little me after playing who knows what probably very loudly on the piano